Obaitori

Self-Love, Self-Acceptance, Self-Perfection

I was asked today by a parent, 'How should I speak to my child when I'm trying to manage their behaviour?'

Here are a few strategies for when things are getting tricky, or it is one of those days;

* talk to your children like you would your best friend or like someone is watching - like, ahem God. Speak kindly, sweetly, unpatronisingly, be straight to the point - remember that children don't understand the concept of sarcasm until the age of eight.

* think to yourself - ask, have I done my own spiritual practice today? if not know that you will probably act very differently, also ask - am I in a hurry ~ really? Stress levels tend to increase when we think we have to be somewhere at a certain time, e.g school time, someone's home, a pending train or bus. Remembering "We will be there at the perfect time" helps a lot.

* be consistent, be consistent, be consistent.

* use compassion & understanding - always go back to the child's developmental age - ask them what they think the problem is, often they might be missing the point & we don't get this- tell them what the problem is - be very clear - & go from there.
 
* do laughter therapy - sometimes called laughing yoga - basically start laughing, it eases the tension, induces seratonin which ables us & our children to cope with the stressful situation. You might have noticed that after a really tense situation, children start laughing, this is an innate ability to be able to cope.

* if all else fails, remove yourself from the situation - go hide in the bathroom,  or create a  breathing room. Breath deeply for as long as you can, use whatever you know personally works for you - positive statements e.g 'this too will pass', 'all is well', visualisations e.g a tranquil beach, a waterfall...

* remember that everything you do is a lesson for your children - they will learn whatever it is you are showing them through your behaviour. Treat them the way you would like to be treated - self-love is the point here.

* don't feel guilty if/when you do lose it, you can actually stop yourself from doing this, use forgiveness on yourself, & start again. Self-acceptance is the lesson here.

* last thing, everybody has the potential of attaining Buddhahood - or self perfection - everyone, including children.

Medicine Bag

Medicine bags have been worn by cultures all over the world for ages. The body of a man over 5000 years old was discovered wearing a medicine bag. I often carry an amulet, crystals & flowers according to my need on the day. It tucks neatly inside my dress. I mainly use my bag for purity, strength & Love. It reminds me of the more subtle things in life. 

To find out more about the intricacies of a medicine bag see here.

And how to make one, here and one to make & wear around your neck, here.

I bought mine from Raven Moonlight.

Prayer Placemat

A few years ago I bought this placemat for Indira to use at meal times from a woman living in the United States. It reminds us to pray, be mindful & think of those with high qualities & virtues.

                                                                                                            ~ (The reverse side)

The prayer placemats are very easy to make for your own children & something that children can make for themselves, brothers & sisters, friends & family.

They can be done in several ways depending on your resources. The easiest way is to take an A3 size piece of paper, collect several pictures of saints, sages, healing flowers, or whatever you or your child is inspired by, glue them onto the paper & contact it.

Or it can be easily created on the computer through the use of google images or photos from your own collection, you may need to go to a print shop to get an A3 size printed, here too you could laminate the placemat. I recommend laminating over contact as the seal is very strong.

If you are savvy with transfer paper, printing & sewing, the placemat could easily be made from fabric. Due to the nature of food on the placemat, this design makes it tricky to wash often. In this case a favourite saint or inspiration (text or images) could be embroidered onto the fabric by the child according to their capabilities.

Bells of Mindfulness ~ Breathing Room

 

"We have a room for everything – eating, sleeping, watching TV – but we have no room for mindfulness. I recommend that we set up a small room in our homes & call it a ‘breathing room,’ where we can be alone & practice just breathing & smiling, at least in difficult moments. That little room should be regarded as an Embassy of the Kingdom of Peace. It should be respected & not violated by anger, shouting or things like that. When a child is about to be shouted at, she can take refuge in that room. Neither the father nor the mother can shout at her any more. She is safe within the grounds of the Embassy. Parents sometimes will need to take refuge in that room, also, to sit down, breathe, smile & restore themselves. Therefore, that room is for the benefit of the whole family.

Decorate the room simply, not too bright. You may want to have a small bell, one with a beautiful sound. When the bell is sounded, it will not only help the person in the breathing room, but the others in the house as well.

I believe that every home should have a breathing room. Simple practices like conscious breathing & smiling are very important. They can change our civilisation". ~ Thich Nhat Hahn.

 

Thich Nhat Hahn is currently in the running for nomination for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize. You can join the Facebook group here to help get him nominated.

Spiritual Matching Cards

The matching cards are teaching resources you can make to enhance the spiritual development of children. It is said that childhood is an important time to create positive impressions or samakaras in the mind. The images on the cards you create are endless. Some examples are: saints, seers, sages, yantras, healing bush/bach flowers, totem animals, birds...

Games with the cards can be played in a variety of ways to suit your child’s development.

Before playing ~ create a sacred space; choose the right time (when the children are fed & slept), lay out a special blanket or mat, light a candle & some incense, ring a little bell.

newborns to two ~ simply show the child some of the cards

two to three years ~ lay some of the cards out facing up & put the matching cards together by pairs

three to five years ~ play 'snap'

four years & over ~ use them as a memory game; turn cards face down & spread them out, one player picks up a card & lays it up facing then turns over another card, if it is a match they collect those cards, if not they are remembered & it is the other players turn.

How to make & use the cards –

Printed images (google images is good) or existing images you may have, glued onto small card sized cardboard pieces & laminated.

When the child is ready, as an extension, each card can be discussed. For example, a saint; what they did, what types of virtues & behaviours that had/have & what we can learn from them. These virtues & behaviours can be incorporated into our child’s everyday life. The card can be used as a reminder by placed on the family altar.

Treated with respect & always returned to their rightful spot, perhaps a small basket on a low shelf, your children will learn to understand the reference of the cards.