Obaitori

clear and cloudy

Life these days has been filled with illness, weather that can't make up it's mind and blessed be, felt projects. We all had that dreaded influenza. I couldn't lift my head off the pillow and Dazla took a week to work at home and held the fort.

We had a wonderful concert with Tenzin Choegyal and raised money for the children who attend the Tibetan Children's Village.

We've been building a garden shed with cubby house on the second story for the children. I just love all being out in the garden. This picture of Yogi - looking indignant - makes me laugh. He usually sits out alone on these chairs but this time Rasta came along and assumed that all the pets had permission to sit there. Awkward.

I'm making the little heart bookmarks I mentioned here before. They are quick and so satisfying. I decided today that my craft is embroidery. It's not knitting, it's not dress-making - even though I do a little of those things - my love is felt and embroidery.It makes me feel good, I don't cry and I enjoy how the creation magically evolves. The other day in the bath I read Alicia Paulson's Embroidery Companion. That book makes me smile and her blog stirs a deep contentment in my heart.

If it sounds as if my writing style has changed - it has, perhaps just for the time that I read the books that I emerged from the library with this morning; Anne Frank's The Diary of a Young Girl and May Smith's These Wonderful Rumours; a young schoolteacher's Wartime Diaries. Both wonderful books that I can dip into throughout the day and night.

I made a lovely bread and butter pudding - the photo was taken half way through the process - I had just spread the Rose Hip jam onto the Turkish bread. I woke up dreaming about it this morning and made it again as soon as I got up.

Have a beautiful week ahead and my aplogies for my general tardiness for not posting the messages from our sponsors on the first of the month. I do hope to rectify the situation. Take precious care of yourself.

coping with full time duties the yogic way

I've just come back from 5 days at Satyananda Yoga Mangrove ashram. It was a break from looking after the household, a mixture of teaching and some time spent alone. The first hour there I was felt like I was rejuvenated. The day one was full. The next few days saw my heart swell and then it was time to return home - to my other home.

I thought I would write a little bit about the apprehension I felt - that I'm sure most people feel - upon returning to full time duties as a householder and as a karma sannyasin. I was a little apprehensive, not about being with my family again but instead the emotion of feeling and becoming overwhelmed with the responsibilities of running a household.

Whilst I perform morning cleaning karma yoga at the ashram - one hour spent on a prescribed task with no attachment to outcome - I come home and attempt to replica that practice. Where I have fallen short about this for years, I have only now recognised. I moan, "Oh, I wish I had a whole team of karma yogis to take home." I would designate the jobs, 'You go and wash the windows inside and out, you clean the bathrooms, you can prepare lunch, you go and clean the havan kund...'  This is what my problem was or rather still is, a bit. I would just finish cleaning one room and then I'd look at the windows, "Oh, they need work." I would finish dinner prep and look at the dining room, "Mmm, more work over there." Go out to collect the letters, "Goodness, I need to sweep the driveway... etc" Feeling grumpy, emotionally tired all of a sudden... The overwhelming feeling comes from this.

Then I thought - now comes the light bulb. Ready? Separate the house into departments just like the ashram; kitchen, dining room, garden, havan, bathrooms. Practise pratyahara - sense withdrawal - the whole house needs to be tidy/liveable and pleasant but it doesn't have to be 100% all the time. I need only look at certain areas, I can physically take my gaze away from areas that still need attention. I can become more at ease with that area by withdrawing the senses and the thoughts. I can designate that area for karma yoga tomorrow. In this way I get a sense that yes, it will all get done.

Other thoughts that come up. Take regular breaks, just like at the ashram. Morning tea, pause look at the flowers. Yoga nidra - everyone's God given right. Lunch, sit in the sun. Afternoon tea etc. Surrender it. Play with the children, with the hubby more.

Swami niranjan speaks about balancing life between the material and the spiritual or ida and pingala nadi. If we can harmonise the two, the energy goes up through sushumna nadi - kundalini shakti. The life becomes filled with sattwa; vitality and harmony. The ability to cope with life's up and downs.

I really think I'm onto something here.

"Be ever happy and bliss filled. Then alone you can make all happy."

~ Swami Chidananda Saraswati~

cat love

Sewn by Bodhi - 4 years - for Yogi - 8 years - with love.

sweet dreams

Inspired by the latest release of The Great Gatsby I got out my crystal out from it's dusty old box in the garage. I know that my lovely nan - my dad's mother - saved her pennies to buy this crystal. She was a seamstress in Paddington, Sydney in the 1940's.
The rose painting is her's too. When her beloved died she took up painting. She used to go to art class once or twice a week. I recall her seated with her brushes in hand, often one in her mouth. It's wonderful, wonderful having a little bit of Anne Hinshelwood on my dresser. I'm on the lookout for an opaque pink lightshade with tiny teardrop crystals. This behaviour - the fancy 'things' - is a little odd for me. Usually I go for decorative but highly practical. I'll see how long it lasts. Beautiful nan.

I'm going to fall asleep now. Oh and by the way, if you ever spill stuff into your laptop and the keyboard stops working for a few days; dry it out in the sun and then shake the fu*k out of it or the shakti back into it. It worked for me.

my mum and dad

My mother and father met in the womb. Their pregnant mother's lived in the same street, Lyndhurst Ave, Gladesville in the 1940's. When my mother was born in the July my nan - pregnant with my father - came down to bath the newborn. She needed practice. A family joke runs that this is the first time mum kicked dad. Their first photo taken that still survives today, is of them sitting together at a party aged 2. We still have their 'love letters.' One describes a story about a duck. Neither of them were allowed the duck so they kept it in secret. They were 'engaged' at nine. Married at 22. Moved into their current house in 1967 and had 3 girls. This year they celebrated their golden jubilee, 50 years. They have 6 grandchildren. For the last 25 years they have been riding a Harley Davidson around the countryside, camping, chatting - my dad's nickname; 'Have a Chat' I swear he knows at least one person in every town in Australia. At the moment they are driving along the Great Ocean Road headed for Kangaroo Island, South Australia. They are raising awareness for the Black Dog Institute - depression and suicide. My folks rock. They have always been there for everyone. Their home is a haven, everyone is welcome. They taught us love. When we were growing up if something happened good or bad whether someone was caught doing something wrong at school or aced the science prize, there was never any judgement, no grudges kept, the next morning dawned and it was always a new day, a new start. They taught us this and so much more.

 

drawing Friday afternoon

sense and sensibility

I have a strong dislike of ballons particularly helium and with ones that are played with outside. I was at the beach with a friend the other day. Her little boy had a ballon. I was concerned where it would end up. I voiced this. The ballon blew away. I called, "Quick, get it! It might end up down a dolphins throat!" Lots of exclaimation marks. My friend said to her boy that instead it might end up in a little girl's backyard and when she found out she would be suprised and happy. Later I told her that I appreciated her optimism. It reminded me that in life we/I have to trust - be careful and responsible - but remember the benevolence of the world.

More ballons came my way this weekend. Indira walked in to the house with 15 red and silver helium ballons. Dazla rescued them from the rocks at the beach. Her face beamed. They laughed, played games and chased the dog with them. They did all end up in the bin - tied carefully and will go into landfill, aagghh - but they didn't end up in the ocean.

I still won't buy ballons.

 

dreamy day

Hello.

I hope you are well?

I received two books in the post this week - you know what that's like - they were gently tucked under the doormat patiently waiting. Fortunately they were delivered days apart which gave justice to each book - really it could have been six weeks apart in Austen times.

The first "Tell Me A Story: stories from the Waldorf Early Childhood Association of North America." Is pure delight. I've read the children two stories which they listened to with such lovely intent and interest.I'll write more about this book and it's intention a bit later.

The next - long awaited - "Embroidery Companion: Classic Designs for Modern Living." Yum, yum, yum sweet eye-candy. I love Alicia Paulson. She inspires me, delights me and the way she teaches feels so genuine. The most important part about her is that she is herself, she doesn't pretend to be anything/one else and that inspires me to do just the same. I make classic embroidery mistakes and that's okay - a bit like life really - don't you agree?

I was feeling a bit yuck so I made bread, a really easy one that you can't go wrong with. I needed a lift - external I know - so I made River Cottage's sourdough. I'll post the recipe later. I'm really keen to get on with my embroidery and some episodes of Cranford. Oh, those red tea towels, I bought them yesterday because red is 'ayurvedically fung-sei great' for the kitchen. Hope you have a good day x

painting a picture

I'm plunging in and I'm writing an entry for the first time in what seems like a very long time. After a wonder filled long summer break from laptops, cameras, blog ideas... it's time to get creative and start documenting our family's journal once more. Hoorah! It's back. Our break was unhurried, late nights, sleep ins, dinners on the beach starting with ice-cream... visits to and from friends. I had a week of solitude at Satyananda Yoga Mangrove. I slept for the first day, the second day I emerged at lunch time and by the third I was well into the guru's rollercoaster ride of human evolution. I did a week of seva, slightly different to karma yoga, but still selfless service without attachment and expectation, work that is performed efficiently with grace. I've been put in the position of caretaking Sivananda Math - a charity that raises the hopes and living standards of some of the poorest people on our sweet Mother Earth. In this space here I'll be talking about Sivananda Math, our regular Chai and Cake Stalls we will be having and giving you updates of how these villagers and lovely farmers - the salt of the Earth - are doing.

We too have had changes on the education front. Last year Indira was attending a local Catholic primary school. I had many issues with the way and what the school was teaching her. Mainly that their standards and statitstics were being placed on our child, causing stress, sadness and heading towards debilitating her self-esteem. It was Dazla who said 'enough!' The annual fair that they have was 'the worst fair I've been to in my life.' It was a fundraiser but it was steeped in gambling, commercialism and corporation. So it is great news that she was accepted into the local Steiner school. It's interesting we didn't do it earlier because we have been to their fair which is like any Steiner fair - fabulous, inspiring and fun - for the last 7 years. Daz usually plays music there. We know alot of people who are in our community circles who attend the school so the first day for all of us was very pleasing. Somebody said, 'welcome home.'

Bodhi has returned to his class at Montessori and is very happy. Dazla's returned to building a big house on the beachside. I hope to support him much more financially this year as he carries a great burden of all of our finances on his sturdy shoulders.

I've returned to putting lots of shakti behind my yoga school. I'm praying and studying to be the best yoga teacher I can be, I'm praying for increased membership and that all beings may be happy, happy, happy. That's you!

 

portrait by Bodhi