I love those weeks and sometimes months where everything at home; children, housekeeping, man cruises along nicely, all is well and then suddenly bam! It all kind of collapses. By collapse I mean; tantrum throwing, late nights, cranky parents, children who break down. I'm always left wondering, 'Hang on a minute, what is happening, where did it all go wrong?' Familiar? I try not to do the inevitable - blame the mother - I do a little bit of that, get over and move on. I know I'm the one who has to pick up the pieces, put it all back together and iron it nice and firm. It is the catalyst for improving, for polishing my mirror, for creating a happier family. Back to the drawing board. I try to think about it when I'm clear headed, when I can look at it deeply so I can create understanding which leds to compassion, love and joy.
I don't quite have the photographs to go with this post - instead I'll give you a magnolia I found at the Buddhist Center.
What happened this time was that I lost sight of the essentials; food and sleep.
The food that was not so nutrient dense and missing some iron, vitamins, protein and water. The sleep was an after effect of the laissez faire approach after the holiday routine.
What suits our family is this;
My magical formula - with the help of my mum - for happy children that creates a virtuous circle;
~ eating well and eating on time so we can eat when we are not too tired and go to sleep when we are not too tired and before we get a second wind.
Get up early before the children to experience those moments of pure bliss. Make a protein rich breakfast for them with hidden things like, cheese, eggs, skim milk powder - about 2 tablespoons of it mixed through anything loads up the protein - chant for their happiness and mine. Feed the children every two hours, dinner no later than 5pm. I supplement the children's vegetarian and self-proclaimed vegan diets with an iron/vitamin tonic.I leave two cups of water with a small jug where the children can access fresh water all the time. When I drink water I comment, "Oh, this water is just lovely. It makes me feel so alive." An exageratted, dramatic comment that encourages the children to drink.
Being a day or two in front of myself to allow for peace of mind and spontaneity. This means making lunches in advance, a few meals in the freezer, folding and putting away washing everyday. If we have something big on the weekend I have everything ready by the Tuesday; socks, clothes, bit and pieces. I do this so if everything falls down, I know I'll be ready. Clean as I go. Wipe over the bathroom in the morning. Do all the dishes the night before. I have the washing machine open all day and as I go past it I throw clothes in it. In the morning I turn it on and when I get back from school drop off or morning activites I hang it out. For me these things really matter because they make a difference to my peace of mind and the environment in which we live. I look at my week ahead and make notes; make a card for Julie, meeting at school on Friday...
To the sleep. For us, starting at 6:30pm works because my children get a second wind at about 7:15. If I leave it this late, over time - this is when their heads start spinning around and green stuff come out of their mouths, yuk! They turn into gremlins. Sometimes it all gets so tedious - the timing, the schedule, the banality of it all - but I know if I stick to the routine my children are much more like the angels I like and I feel so much better. I feel like a better parent because I don't yell, I don't get worked up and I don't dread the bedtime routine.
So by 6:30 the children are fed, bathed, teeth are brushed and they are selecting the three books we will read to them. The oil burner is warming up with sweet orange oil, night lamps are on, things turn quiet and bedtime is enjoyable again - for everyone!
What do you do? Any suggestions of magic are very welcome. Please share them here so that I and others can benefit too.
To all you magical women of the light - have a beautiful enlightened International Women's Day, a very delightful full moon and a very happy Holi.
Love Katie xxx
