After speaking to a few people who read these pages they had the idea that our move was seamless. Well, really it wasn't all joy. At times it was very stressful. I had made a list of things we wanted for a new house & we did get them. In actual fact we got much more than we wanted. But at times I did lose hope. I did feel like giving up - & with a family - that is just out of the question. I am mainly an optimist - I bounce back quickly from feeling dismayed - & I try to practice detachment, because really in 10,000 years time my worries will not be so relevant. Or will they? A lot of scriptures/teachings say that to remain positive is vitally important - that these thoughts can ripple along into the world for 25,000 years. In terms of my faith & belief system being challenged it was - we were offered our house in the 11th hour. When I was feeling low, I was very much encouraged by a quote from Toda, a Japanese Buddhist teacher. He said, 'It is not about winning, it is about never disparaging.' I felt bad for a little while because I did disparage. I got over this guilt but then my attention turned to my children. Had they seen me disparage, mmm - probably. & then I worked out where the 25,000 years comes into it. If I am happy so are my children. If I am optimistic, so are my children. If I disparage, it follows. Yes, it is true I want my children to see a range of emotions & I also want them to see that through the darkness comes light, from poison - medicine. For me, the real challenge was when I started to begin to lose hope. This lose of hope was draining, I could feel it zap me, drain my prana. What I did to help this situation was not give up chanting. I refocused myself not on winning but on never giving up. It was truly the only thing that got me through. Optimism & determination began to flow deep from within. I was able to pick myself up & keep going. This was the main lesson I learnt from this entire moving house episode. It was worth it.
Daisaku Ikeda has written, "True joy emerges ceaselessly from within your life while you squarely battle to overcome each storm of hardships. This kind of true joy gushes forth endlessly. You cannot enjoy a true & profound joy if you seek only to indulge yourself in comfortable situations where you don't have to experience sever hardships."
For today, here are a few things I'm feeling thankful for;
guru
the teachings
2 healthy children
good health
a beautiful school environment
caring husband
eve on the season of spring
an ocean where we can watch whales migrating
fresh water
fruit & vegetables
friendly neighbours
delightful friends
Love
hope
joy
